The written Chronicles

I will be away so shoo, no contacting me whatsoever, unless you suckers want to get a rip-off from the long-distances bills.

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Why is it when your are 17, you start to feel a little bit desperate for love.

People have been asking me,

And I find me asking myself,

What do I look for in a girl….

Definitely maturity, some level of intelligence, fun to be with, caring…knows how to love..

Maybe above all that, I don’t need to be with all these qualities.

I’m fine with imperfections anyway, I feel what I really want matters.

Personal connection.

You are somewhere out there. And I’ll wait.

I finally got some good rest after alot of hardwork on myself.

As the sun sets, another new beginning unfolds - at least mine did.

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After 3 gruelling nights.

After 60 hours of torture.

I just wanna tell everyone.

No matter how strong I am on the outside..

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If it was one thing that took my mind off things.

It was this.

It was shopping for my winter clothes, as absurd as it can get.

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I couldn’t sleep.

I'm like him,just that I'm staring blankly at the ceiling

and no its no ordinary Italian trip excitment.

Its something else….something else I ….really can’t express

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Lonely wanderer. Is my life none but a wayfarer?

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So I finally settled down from all those procrastinations to blog my tots.

Its abit hard you know, I have to drink brand’s chicken of essence plus all the brain food i can to remember what I have gone through. Its all stored in, and now you all folks, you get it inside out!

Update pictures more on a later date.

~~~SLE~~~

Heck I don’t know what am I missing if i forgo this. Had thought of forgoing this due to my sheer laziness and glad I didn’t. I shudder to think how I wouldn’t have changed because of this. As the name suggest, it is the “Student Leadership Experience”, and again it gave me new lenses to the word leadership. Yes we have seen good leaders ourselves but how potential has it in us that’s not unleashed (for my case, unleashed during the OBS) heh. Heh, I will remember to sustain the values that were imbued in me….unprecedentedly. It thought me not just to lead the way but also take a pause in my life, review, then take a step forward, lead my life — instead of following it — something humans are very good at doing unknowingly.

On the 5 November, we went to the Changi Coastal Resort camp.

I mean it wasn’t a very nicely planned out camp since we didn’t have any ice-breaker. But hey, whats life without a peek of reality. Its inevitable in life we must survive without all this buzzy “orientations” or “ice breakers”. Now thats life, something that dawned upon us when we left the camp – we have to work with one another regardless of the differences and perceptions. I guess everyone can be a leader but not all at the same time. All of us are leaders and all of us are followers in some sense. I have to be very honest, I’ve been nothing but a judgmental and a critical life-form when I was there (Which reminds me, I should tone down my “insisting my idea is better than yours” ego) Amongst the faces of people, I was skeptical some are even of leadership material, by the way they speak, listen and do stuff, until it unfolds in day 2 which is kind of changing our mindset in a way. We had rope-climbing and high rope elements – something to me which is very exhausting waiting for others to climb and fidget and struggle and cringe and go back down. But it also serves another meal of revelation to me again. Retrospectively, I wasn’t tolerant of their weaknesses. I know their fear and advice them, yeah sure i did , but i didn’t take the time to encourage them or understand their fear (instead of knowing). It really boils down to my ego, ego ego. Yes, beneath all these facade, I’m nothing but fueled with ego.

Afterwards, we had water-rafting, something I hate to do (even during obs). It reminds me how much i hate to do rope activity since im not good with my hands but sometimes you have to try anyway. Ours capsized and/or float another way round -.-

The next day was ubin, had to literally wake up at 4am and went to Ubin at 6am to start our amazing race. Yes. The teachers scheduled it in such a manner. Purposely. Lol Everyone was lethargic and oh yeah remind me to discriminate some of the people who didn’t clean themselves when they emerge from sleep. I told to some of my groupmates “You know I cannot stand some people, they already have a fucktard face and they can’t even bother to wash it when they already wake up. I mean if you don’t bathe never mind, i feel like telling them ” You know you are already ugly, can you at least…wash your face? ” ” LOL. Heh some of them don’t even bathe for 1 whole day, even if they are given the luxury too.

Oh yeah, during the painstaking amazing race around Ubin, i realised how diligent, tenacious and the perseverance to help the group mates who were having difficulties along the way and its a 4km minimum per checkpoint, means we walked more than 20 clicks around ubin, with one of the checkpoints from one end to another. Good news is that we have to return to another end of ubin to collect another clue and go back to the other checkpoint. How tiring to start our day with this kind of activity. I felt the PE teachers who organised this just simply want us to walk. hahahahah. Ok, I realised not all of them are just pretty faces, underneath lies their strong core of potential leadership material. Already one of our members had blister, fell down or had stomach ache. I didn’t realise how tactless I was asking them to pace up or just there in front. I didn’t realise I was subtly impatient, and heartless(in some sense). Have to applaud Nay for her will to persevere for another stranger. How much in your lifetime do you help so much for another stranger in a desperate need for help. Not often really. If anyone’s leadership is proven, it got to be Nay’s and not mine.

Lol and when our group return to the canteen tables, we slept there as a group. Knock out and in deep sleep. I drooled shhh.

Campfire was fun. *Airplane lands* RETRIBUTION! (Inside Joke)

So on our last day, all these values were still kept in us because all of us had to lead the juniors and other Millennians as well. Oh yeah Nay and Shafina got best camper. *Cheers*

OBS post….erm sometime tonight? No promises = D = D OBS Peeps post me PICTURES

If I can express my emotions it will be

URGGHHHHH….YAWN.

I guess the holidays will be another tiring packed schedule. I don’t even have enough time to go for my Debate trainings without clashing with my SLE camps without clashing with my band stuff and what not. ON TOP of that Symphonie IV is coming up along with misb/angklung concert. OH WAIT OBS is OBStructing the way. I want to sleeep and study. I do have the Italy trip too. Whats taking up my free time? BRIEFINGs Briefings and more briefings? NOT TO mention MISB trainings are not productive at all. The last time I went for the band practice , no one in-charge was bloody there and whats worse, no instructions to begin with. What have I got myself into? I just want to sleep.

I’m getting very edgy because there are too many phone calls from ALL OVER THE PLACE AND I FEEL SO disorganised. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. I hope I can pull through all this. Afterall, my heart still lay in wanting to enjoy 3 main events. OBS, ITALY TRIP and SYMPHONIE IV.

URGH i want to sleep.